My Revelation on the Island of Patmos: Part 4 of 5
I Can Do All Things
In 2012, while on the island of Patmos, the pain of trigeminal neuralgia became debilitating. Many days were spent lying still on my right side trying to decrease all painful stimulants to the left side of my face.
Surges of pain increased as I continued to combat facial muscle spasms, burning and sensations of electricity. Being wearied by the years of endurance, I was slipping in and out of hope that the pain would end.
Being mentally and physically exhausted, I drew a dangerous conclusion: “I can’t do this anymore.” It seemingly felt easier to not work the muscle of hope nor to believe that God would deliver me.
Oh how deceiving! It was actually harder to live under the dark cloud of hopelessness.
There is life and glorious possibilities within hope and faith. As my hope waned, I found only depression and an internal death.
What I am saying is simple and is an easily forgone conclusion. The necessity of hope and faith are required to remain alive within. Hope is vital to emotional, spiritual and even physical life.
Being intimately acquainted with a hope filled life and a life of despair, I can attest that a life of despair is a much more difficult life to live.
A life of despair is no life at all really. Despair drained me of life.
The horrid reality of trigeminal neuralgia is that many who do not find relief within three years choose to embrace death; thus, it is called the “suicide disease.”
When pain and death are around and within, the answer is not more death. The answer is freedom and life.
“Where the Spirit of the Lord is there is freedom,” and “Yeshua is the way, the truth and life.”
(2 Corinthians 3:17, John 14:16)
Faith
Fortunately, my friend from Israel called while I was in this tailspin. Wearily I confessed my true thoughts, “I can’t do this anymore.”
With all the flare of a true Israeli, my friend responded with genuine honesty, “Where is your faith? Don’t you believe that you ‘can do all things through the Messiah who strengthens’ you?”
Ouch!
As I basked in the deceptive light of self-pity, I expected my friend to stroke me with words of sympathy. Instead, gently the harsh truth and direct words were spoken in love.
My friend’s words woke me up and challenged me in the basic truths of my faith.
Knowing that I believed in Yeshua and the words of the Bible, to my friend without guile it was only logical that I would believe what God says.
My time of suffering and endurance was a life test. Did I believe the Scriptures or not? When I awoke from my stupor and chose to exercise my muscle of hope, the Word of God was cemented into my heart.
Let me just say, many a time I had been the recipient of my friend’s compassions. The compassionate heart made a way for the sword-like tongue to destroy the lies that were destroying me.
After hearing and awakening to truth, I ceased to say, “I cannot do this.” The truth was internalized and my mind was changed. “I can do all things because Yeshua strengthens me.” I can do nothing without Him, but by leaning on my Beloved I will arise.
By changing my internal conversation with God, I was released from the heavy power of despair that had haunted me on and off for years.
“This I know, my Redeemer lives and in the end He will stand on the Earth. After my skin has been destroyed, this I know, that In my flesh I will see God. …Oh, how my heart yearns within me!”
(Job 19:25-27)
He will come and save, and He will remove all tears and pain.
Until the fullness of healing is realized and all the pain is lifted from my face, I know that I can do all things and endure all things through Yeshua my Messiah Who gives me strength.
(Philippians 4:13)
